


Her Weakness

by wolf3223



Series: Her Weakness series [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 10:03:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 18,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4662552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolf3223/pseuds/wolf3223
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically what I hope happens after part one of the finale (of the 100). I love the idea of Clarke and Lexa so they're going to be endgame in this. This is basically just to take the sting off of Lexa's betrayal. Spoilers for season 2!<br/>Yes, this is the original author. This is the edited version and book 2 (Their Enemies) is on Wattpad</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

No one protests when I announce that I am heading to the Ark. My people seem to fear me more than usual. They have never seen me this angry. They think I am angry at the Mountain Men for kidnapping so many of us, and for what they did to our people. I let them think that.

I believe that you must be honest with yourself before you can be honest with anyone else. And the truth is that I am mad at the Mountain Men. I would love nothing more than to stick their soldiers' heads on pikes after we torture them until they cannot take the agony any longer. But the Mountain Men alone could never get me so furious.

I am angry at myself. She may be annoying at times, but she's a good... friend. And whenever I close my eyes, all I can see is the sadness in her blue eyes, the disappointment when she learned that I accepted that damn deal. I hurt her. I hurt her and it kills me to know I caused her pain.

My people think I did the right thing.

Not too long ago, our people would have gladly slit each other’s throats. We would have as well. But now... I am weak for her. I allow myself to be weak for my people, but she is not one of us. She's different. One of the Sky People. She is their leader, for the gods' sakes. And she makes me weak.

No one objects, even though they think I am going back to try to help the Sky People. I am, but I would never intentionally put anyone’s lives in danger because of my weakness. Though they would, if I asked them to. Or ordered them to. I will not force anyone to fight and die for those Sky People. Or me, if I can help it. I am going to help them myself. If some of my people volunteer, I will not stop them. But I will not force them.

I am going against everything we stand for. For her.


	2. Chapter 2

I pull back on my horse's reigns and we stop. My people do not trust the Sky People enough to allow me to ride to their encampment alone.

I wash off my war paint in a nearby stream. I look and feel more vulnerable without it on, but I need to be completely honest with her. I do not deserve to be forgiven, not in the least, but I hope she will listen to what I have to say.

I remount and make a clicking noise. As we get closer to the Ark, to Clarke, the more nervous I become, which makes my face more expressionless than normal.

"Grounders!" A sentry cries in a panicked voice. I see the guards raise their guns and point them at us, prepared to shoot. After what I did, there is no doubt they would kill me with no hesitation and minimal guilt afterwards. I do not blame them for their hatred for me. 

"Lower you weapons, we come in peace." I say. I do not raise my voice but I know they can hear me. I signal for the two warriors who insisted on coming with me for "my protection" to sheathe their weapons. They follow my silent order with reluctance.

A crackling noise comes from a guard's tunic, followed by unintelligible mumbles from a device attached to his clothing.  
The man yells "Open the gate!"

I dismount and walk inside, leaving my horse to walk behind me.

Civilians begin to crowd around me, but I do not mind. Not even when they hurl hateful words at me that I let bounce off like bullets off my mental shields. I knew I would not receive a warm welcome. I have been called much worse. I do not flinch. They have every right to be furious at me. Even I am mad at me.

The soldiers control them before a protest turns into a mob, and one guard steps forward and asks me skeptically, "Why are you here, Commander?"

"Take me to Clarke."

"Are you sure you don’t want me to get the Chancellor? She's often busy, but--"

"I would like to speak to Clarke," I interrupt him. He seems slightly offended but turns and walks towards the Ark. I follow him as he leads me into the metal structure.

"I'll take you to her bedroom and get someone to bring Clarke there. I assume you want to talk to her alone"

"Yes, thank you." I do not dislike this soldier. He does not ask too many questions.

He stops and gestures at a small bedroom. "She should be here shortly."

I nod and he walks away without another word. I take the spare time I have until she arrives to study the room. It is small, considering she is their unofficial leader. Despite what her mother calls herself and refuses to admit, Clarke holds the real power. It is a simple room, so much so I would not know that this is her room if I did not notice that there are maps cluttering every available surface with writing I recognize as hers. They are all of Mount Weather.

I hear footsteps near the room and turn.

"Commander," Clarke says stiffly. She looks more emotionless than I have ever seen. Usually I can see what she is feeling in her eyes, the fire from her passion and her love for her people. But she keeps her face carefully blank, and she will not even call me by name. My heart aches, realizing I caused more pain than I thought.

"Clarke."


	3. Chapter 3

"If you're here to make excuses, you should leave and not waste either of our time." Clarke steps aside and gestures for me to go. But that is not what I am here for.

"There is no excuse for what I did." I say, fighting to not show my weakness. 

My hatred for myself, for what I have done. For what I have done to her people and her. How she has made me feel when I thought my heart stopped beating long ago. How it kills me to know that I have put her people's lives in danger. How it kills me to know that, above all else, I have let her down.

Clarke looks at me with that unreadable expression and closes the door behind her.

"Talk," she orders.

"There is nothing I can say that can make this better."

"Damn right. You betrayed me." Sadness flickers across her face briefly, "I trusted you. How could you do that to me? To them? We could have taken the Mountain Men. Then my friends wouldn't be dying while I'm stuck here doing nothing about it!"

"I thought I was doing what was right for my people." I defend my actions automatically. My walls slam up and I try to force them down, knowing being distant won't help. "Like I said, nothing I can say will make this any better. But there is something I can do." A spark of interest lights up her eyes and I almost sigh in relief to see that passionate fire burning again. "I am here to offer my assistance."

"Your help? For what? Getting them back? We tried that, remember, and you betrayed me." The unspoken words that are screamed into the brief silence are breaking my heart. 'How can I trust you again'.

"You have every right not to trust me after that. I will not ask that you do, just that you think with your head, not with your heart when you consider my proposition."

"And what is your proposition?"

She watches me as I respond; paying close attention to my left hand that is near where I keep a sheathed dagger. It is an instinctive habit that I do when I feel scared or threatened. "I want to help get them back. Most of my people still do not like yours, so there will be few volunteers. Though if I tell them I will be there in the inevitable battle, I am   
sure many would jump at the chance to fight the Mountain Men."

"Why do you want to help?" Clarke looks into my eyes and I almost want to break eye contact. It feels like she is looking into my soul. And I am not sure she will like what she sees.

"Believe it or not, Clarke, I did not like leaving you there. I hate that I doubted us and our plan. They are your people and they are important to you, so of course I will try to help in any way I can."

She studies me for a moment longer and gives me a small smile. I consider this a miracle. My face unfreezes from its normal indifferent expression to give her a smile back. 

"So how do we do this, Lexa?"


	4. Chapter 4

"So how do we do this, Lexa?"

She said my name. Clarke said my name again. I take that as a good sign. I hope more than anything that it is.

"I was wondering that myself." Before she can chide me on not being prepared, I continue. "And then I thought back to when you saved me from that beast. We could use a similar tactic on--"

The door bursts open, smashing into the wall loudly, revealing Octavia.

"So it's true," she gasps, out of breath. She straightens and gives me a scowl. "You are here, Commander. My brother could be dying because of you! He could be being drained of blood because you made that damn deal! If he dies, I will kill you."

Clarke steps between Octavia and I. "Calm down."

"Calm down? Why is she even here? To flaunt the fact she has her people back?"

"Lexa's here to help. Did you come here just to yell at her?" Clarke crosses her arms and even though I am staring at the back of her head, I know she is giving Octavia a look that could freeze a river beast in fear.

"No. Your mother wants you to help make plan B to get the others back." She glares at me and I keep my expression neutral like she did not just bring up some of the many things I have been beating myself up for since the battle.

"Very well. Lexa will come, too. She says she has a plan." She turns her head and looks at me with those piercing eyes, reading my expression in a way only she can to make sure I am okay with going.

Octavia sighs and steps back from the door, gesturing to let us out first. To anyone else, it would seem like she is being polite. But I know better. She does not trust me enough to be behind her and wants to make sure I will not kill Clarke.

As if I would ever intentionally hurt her. Especially now that I know how much it hurts me to hurt her. I feel more for her than I have for anyone... ever. Not even Costia.  
I want to shelter her, to hold her in my arms and protect her from the cruelties she has been exposed to. That is extremely uncharacteristic of me. I have only ever felt a fraction of this way for my people. She brings out all those emotions I repressed years ago. And I do not mind one bit.

Not that Clarke would ever let me safeguard her. Besides the fact she has people to lead, she is strong in a way I have rarely seen. Her emotions, her love and devotion to her people, they make her strong. 

For not one other individual person have I wanted to destroy their enemies, to kill all who dare hurt her or those she loves. To paint the walls with the blood of her foes.  
The less violent part of me wants to kiss her. To show her how much she means to me. But I am not sure either of us is ready for that. I do not want to make her uncomfortable, or force her to feel the same way. If we get together like I hope, it will be because she wishes it as much as I.

"The Commander is here," Octavia announces as she brushes past us into a room with models of the Mountain Men's home.

"Commander." Clarke's mother frowns for a moment before forcing a smile that does not fool me for a second.

"She's here to help." Clarke walks into the room and everyone stands up straighter in her presence. I hope both she and her mother realize the effect she has. She makes many willing to die for the wellbeing of few. She is inspiring.

"Can we trust her after the Mountain Men?" Clarke's mother asks. A few others murmur their agreement, shooting me looks that would normally result in their deaths.  
Clarke makes a face like she is going to go and tell them off for questioning me or something.

"After that, I do not deserve your trust. But that does not matter. What matters is getting your people back." I make unwavering eye contact with every person in the room until I   
get into a stare off with Clarke's mother until she glances away.

Clarke interrupts the charged silence. "So, what's your plan?"


	5. Chapter 5

"And you're sure that will work?" Clarke's mother asks, once again expressing her doubt not only in my plan, but in my intelligence. None of the others seem the least bit doubtful. Sure, there is always room for error. No plan is perfect. But she does not trust me. I am not sure she trusts half the people in this room. I can tell that she I that type of person.

"No." I meet her scrutinizing gaze. Her eyes are cold, and it shocks once again that not only is she related to Clarke, who has the warmest, kindest eyes I have ever seen, but she is in fact Clarke's mother. "This plan is based on how I think the Mountain Men will respond. If they do not respond in the way I expect, we will have to come up with another plan.   
Fast."

"It sounds like it will work," Clarke gives her mother a glare that makes her turn her hateful glower off me. "I haven't been the Mountain Men as long as you have, none of us have. I trust your judgment."

Her words warm my heart and I have to force myself not to give her a smile that may betray my feelings for her.

"It's late," Octavia grumbles from where she is leaning in the corner of the room, speaking up for the first time since the meeting began. "Can we go to sleep, or do we have to argue more?"

"No, you're right." Clarke responds, "We have a busy day tomorrow. Let's get some rest while we can."

The others nod their approval and begin to leave when Clarke's mother speaks up again. "Wait. Where will the Commander sleep?"

"Lexa," Clarke's voice is heavy with annoyance, "will sleep in my quarters."

Everyone, me included, all stare at her. Sleep in her quarters? With her? She does not have an extra bed. Will we have to sleep together? In the same bed? I am not sure she is ready for that.

"Sleep in your quarters?" Her mother sounds disgusted and horrified. It is nice to know what she thinks as highly of me as I do her.

"Yes. Most of the rest of our people are afraid and wary of her. If Lexa sleeps in my quarters, it'll show how much I trust her. I trust her with my life."

"Last time you did that, she betrayed you. And us. That's not so easily forgiven or forgotten," she growls.

"Yes, well, that's why she's here. To offer her help to get some of our people back. If you want to refuse that, fine. We won't be able to get them back without her. Lexa is doing this of her own free will, out of the goodness of her heart. She doesn't have any of her people left in there. She's helping us despite that."

"I'm not sure the Commander has a heart," Clarke's mom spits, pivoting on her heel and making a grand exit.

The others leave quietly, but give me looks that tell me that they do not believe what their Chancellor is saying. Even Octavia is not as hostile. I hope that she will forgive my actions in time. I know she is close to Clarke.

Clarke's hand lightly brushes mine and I fight not to shiver at the shock of her touch. "Come on," she says gently, "we don't have any extra mattresses. I will sleep on the floor."

Clarke begins to walk toward her room and I fall into step with her. "I will not kick you out of your bed. I will sleep on the floor."

Clarke opens her mouth as if to protest, but a soldier interrupts her, holding some sort of fabric in his hands. "Extra blanket on the Chancellor's order, ma'am." He hands her the fabric and salutes her. It is not sarcastic or hesitant like those I have seen the so called "leader" receive. Her people respect her almost as much as I do.

"Thank you." He marches past us, and I am glad that he does not stare at me like some of the civilians do.

She opens the door to her room, "Are you sure you're okay sleeping on the floor?"

"I have slept on worse places than a clean floor," I say gently and thank her as she hands me the fabric that is apparently their version of a pelt blanket.

Clarke nods and smiles, though I notice her calm exterior is slightly cracked. She seems almost nervous. Though probably not for the reason I hope.

I spread it out of the floor and she blows out the flickering candle lighting up the room. I drape the blanket over myself and watch as she climbs into her bed.

"Goodnight, Lexa."

"Goodnight, Clarke."


	6. Chapter 6

The ride to Mount Weather is quiet. Clarke and I are side by side on our horses, which may make us easier targets but dying is worth a few more moments close to her.

We lead a small group of soldiers. Brave warriors. I hope we are not leading them to their death. Death may be a part of war, but that does not mean I like seeing my men and women die for me and for us.

"We are close. Should we set up camp?" Clarke asks. 

I scan the tree line for gunmen. The few security cameras I have seen are dead. I assume that means Raven and the boy did a thorough job taking out their power. I hope she is not another blood stain on my hands.

"Yes. It seems they still do not have much power or security." I finally respond and get off my horse.

"Thanks to Raven," Octavia says coldly from where she was walking beside us. She may tolerate my presence for the sake of her people, but anyone with half a brain can tell she does not like me and does not trust me.

"We'll set up camp here and attack in the morning." Clarke is talking at her normal level, but her voice is so commanding, so full of power and authority that it travels to the very back of our group with no problem at all.

The soldiers get to work setting up tents as Clarke sits down on a fallen tree and spreads out our plans.

"Shall we go over this again?" Clarke studies the map intently, scrutinizing though we have gone through it so many times and pointed out the truly alarming number of ways things could go wrong, nothing will surprise us tomorrow.

"We will be fine, Clarke. We have gone through this numerous times." I sit down beside her and place a hand on her shoulder. It is meant to be comforting, but she tenses when I touch her. I am about to yank back my hand with the abnormal urge to apologize when she relaxes.

"Sorry. It's just... this is probably our last chance to save my friends before they..." Clarke trails off and she looks old way beyond her years and much too tired for a young woman.

"We will save them, Clarke. I have no doubt."

Clarke smiles sadly, "I wish I had your confidence in our abilities. This plan is brilliant, but it relies heavily on deception and our acting skills."

"I am sure you can act terrified. Just think if something that scares you, and let the emotion show on your face."

"You might have a harder time with that than me," Clarke gives an adorable half-smile that warms my heart.

"I can let emotion show. It is just easier not to."

"Your tent is up," Octavia extends a hand and helps Clarke up, ignoring my existence.

"Thank you," Clarke says and I can hear the gratitude in her voice. She is kind and genuinely cares about her people and they can tell. That is one of the many reasons they would follow her to the end of the earth and back.

I stand up and pick up our plans and Clarke gestures for me to follow her. I would follow her to the end of the earth and back as well. We duck into our tent. The inside consists an upright log that will work as a table if necessary and two of their weird blankets on the ground.

The sun is setting and shining dim light through the thin walls of the tent. I notice Clarke fighting a yawn.

"We should rest. We are going to have an eventful day tomorrow." I place our plans down on the log table. 

"But we should--"

"We will be no good to your friends if we are exhausted. Sleep, Clarke." There is no more we can possibly do tonight. And I am not looking forward to tomorrow.

I will not be wearing my Commander's uniform, or anything like my normal clothing. I will be wearing Mountain Men civilian clothing with something called a "bulletproof vest" underneath. From what I gather, it is protection against the guns. Though I will be uncomfortable in such clothing, Clarke will be wearing a similar outfit, which I know I will find humorous. Though no doubt she will be as beautiful as ever.

We settle beneath the blankets and I watch as her face slacks as she falls asleep. She looks so peaceful, something she rarely seems when she is awake. I hope she will find someone who brings her the peace she brings me.

I close my eyes and try not to let fear worm its way into my dreams as it always does before battles.


	7. Chapter 7

A small group of my people stands outside the Mountain Men’s main entrance, chanting "jus drein jus daun."

I stand further away, hidden by the shadows of the trees with Clarke and one of my best archers. She is with us because we need her for her extremely keen eyesight.

"A red light has turned on. It is on the metal box, just as you said it would be, Commander."

"Thank you for informing me. You may join the archers in the clearing if you wish. Or the others hidden in the trees. You may go home if you choose, you have done well."

She nods and disappears in the forest. 

I was right about the first phase of the plan. I cannot help hoping I am correct about the rest as well.

"Lexa, the door is opening!" Clarke whispers excitedly as Mountain Men not wearing those protective suits emerge with large guns. "Do we go in now?"

My heart swells in knowing she trusts me enough to make the call. "Not yet. Wait until the fighting starts. We can go in during the chaos, but we have to act as if we are one of them."

I shift uncomfortably in the clothes Clarke said resembled theirs. It is a black sleeveless shirt with a plunging neckline that makes me uncomfortable and itchy pants. Clarke and I have both put our hair up in what she calls, "ponytails." We hardly look like ourselves. I would not recognize us, so hopefully our enemies will not either.

A clang of a sword and a gunshot draws my attention and I look up to see the battle has begun.

I grab Clarke's hand and murmur, "look terrified."

I think of my feelings for her and how it would feel to get rejected rather than pushed away. To me, losing her is the most terrifying thing. I focus on that and let that expression show on my face. Clarke pulls me into the clearing. We run, refusing to scream out of stubbornness and pride, but acting scared nonetheless.

The Mountain Men usher us inside like the fools I have always thought they are.

"Get inside, get inside," one snaps, "I know the fact we can go outside is exhilarating, but we still have enemies. Don't be so stupid in the future. The civilians are gathered on the fifth floor, join them there. As you know, we're low on power thanks to those barbarians, so the elevators aren't working. Take the ladder. Don't fall."

We nod and thank him. I manage not to stick my concealed dagger in his neck for calling us, for calling Clarke a barbarian. I am grateful that I can curb my temper because that poor excuse for a man is getting on my last nerve.

"Do you know where the ladders are?" Though I did spend time learning the basic layout of the place, she has not only been here before, but she has also studied her maps   
extensively.

"Of course."

She begins leading me, not letting go of my hand and I try to focus on our mission instead of her touch. Clarke freezes when a voice floats down the hallway.

"That's the old leader's son," she hisses, her eyes wide and fearful, "he will recognize us for sure!"


	8. Chapter 8

In a spur of the moment decision, I press her up against the wall and angle us so my back is facing where the voices are coming from.

"Sorry about this," I hope she will not slap me for this.

My lips find hers and I am finally kissing her again. To my surprise, she does not shove me away in revulsion but rather tangles her hands in my hair to pull me closer. One of my hands reaches up to rest against the back of her neck and the other rests on her lower back. I am touching her like I have dreamt so many times and it is more heavenly than I ever imagined.

"Hey!" An authoritative voice cuts through the silence of our passion and I can tell he's the leader Clarke spoke of. We slow down our kiss, but neither of us pulls away. "I know that being able to be on the surface again is an amazing feeling, but please, get down to the others. The savages may get in."

I am the one who breakers the kiss to respond. My voice comes out rough and I hate uttering the words though I know I have to in order to get him to go away. "Yes, sir."

Our faces stay close together and we stare intensely into each other's eyes as the Mountain Men’s shoes clack loudly on the tiles as they walk down the hallway.

"You actually said yes sir." Clarke is fighting a smile and sounds amused.

"I had to. We should get down to the fifth level. Your people should be there."

She quickly turns serious again. I realize how closely we are still standing and take a step back. Her eyes flicker to my lips and she murmurs, "We'll talk about this once we get my friends to safety."

I am sort of dreading this inevitable talk. I am certain she will tell me "I'm not ready, Lexa. Not yet. You're not the one for me." I do not think my heart will be able to survive that. I just nod mutely, though, and hope my eyes do not betray my fear and insecurity. I am weak for her.

Clarke clears her throat and walks. I fall into step beside her, and knowing she has a lot on her mind, I let her think in a silence I find slightly uncomfortable. Did I really just kiss her? Did she really just let me? Why did she not push me away? Why did she pull me closer? I guess I have a lot on my mind, too.

We reach a door that simply states, "Ladder". Clarke really does know the layout of this place.

"Don't look down," Clarke advises as she pulls open the door.

It opens with an ominous squeal. Beyond the door is just a small metal tube with a ladder attached to one side. The ladder goes so far down; it seems to go on forever, sinking into the blackness of the edge at my sight.

Clarke sees my hesitation and gives me an encouraging smile as she grabs onto the ladder and begins her descent. Once she gets far enough down, I start climbing as well. This time, I take her advice and refuse to allow myself to look down.

We climb until we reach a door that is labeled five.

"We made it," Clarke's voice echoes.

I force myself to relax. This is the easier part. Next step, find her people and save them.

That shouldn't be too hard. Right?


	9. Chapter 9

Guards see us as soon as we step foot out of the ladder and I brace myself for a fight. To my surprise, they usher us forward with strong hands placed on our backs. I want nothing more than to break that guard's hand. He is touching her. He cannot touch her like that, like she does not matter.

"Stay on this floor," that guard orders. "Listen to the guards. It's for your own safety."

I put a fearful expression on and nod obediently, forcing myself not to try to intimidate this insolent man.

"Yes, sir." Clarke says.

The guard walks away. It is odd to see a soldier walk away from me without saluting. Even if he is not my soldier.

I turn to Clarke, smiling. "You said yes, sir."

She lightly pushes my arm, but I do not budge. "Shut up."

It is the most peculiar thing. I am smiling of my own free will and I cannot seem to stop. I wonder if she knows the effect she has on me. I kind of hope she does not. I would never hear the end of it.

"Hey, the soldiers sent me over to--" the voice cuts off in a gasp.

I turn to see a dark skinned girl with short black hair staring at us. Does she know who we are? I hope I do not have to kill her. She looks like she is a civilian, an innocent.

"Clarke? You're back? But... but how? And who's this?" The girl whispers. She does know who we are. At least she does not know who I am. Though she may be a civilian, I am prepared to slit her throat if Clarke deems her untrustworthy.

I look to Clarke, who I can tell is trying not to slip into her leader mode. It might give us away if their cameras are working. "Maya, hey. This is Commander Lexa. We're here to rescue them. Where are they?"

"Commander Lexa? As in... The Commander?" I am pleased to say she visibly pales as she realizes who I am. "Why is she here? Didn't she betray you or something?"

"Yeah. And now she's here of her own free will to help free my friends. Do you know where they are?"

"Yes, I do. They're with Dr. Tsing, waiting for their bone marrow to be harvested." Maya makes a face and I can tell she is strongly against it. Good for her.

"Are the mechanics with them?" I ask.

"The guy and the girl that were near the generators? Yeah. And another guy they found in the air ducts. We may want to hurry."

Clarke nods and sets off. Maya and I walk behind her. I am sure the girl could catch up to Clarke, but I guess she may have something to say to me.

"So you're here of your own free will? Why? I've heard about you and you don't seem like the kind of person who would do this sort of thing just because."

I glance up at Clarke and focus on the way she is walking with a mission. I have found focusing on people I care about calms my nerves. And I do not want to disappoint or hurt her again, so this is my sorry. This is my making up for it. And I am nervous because I know we might fail. And I know that would kill her.

"Oh, you are so whipped," Maya whispers, grinning widely. She must have seen me staring at Clarke.

"Whipped?" I whisper back as she speed walks to catch up to Clarke. What does that mean? Does she have a whip? Perhaps if I survive this, I will ask Octavia what Maya means.

"Hey!" An authoritative voice that could only belong to an arrogant soldier calls. "You can't be down this way, Maya!"


	10. Chapter 10

"Sorry. She's a doctor." Maya jerks her thumb at Clarke, who acts bored.

"A doctor? Really. What's your name, doctor?" He sneers. I make sure to keep emotions off my face, but these days I am finding that to be getting more and more difficult. Especially when such an arrogant man is insulting Clarke.

"Claire. That's my first name, if you can't tell. Let us pass before you piss me off." Clarke crosses her arms and gives him a look that has him fidgeting and fighting to maintain his tough exterior. He was already failing miserably at that before Clarke intimidated him.

"Yeah, she's definitely a doctor." He chuckles even though no one else finds him the least bit amusing. He clears his throat awkwardly and shifts on his feet. "Go ahead."

We walk past him and Clarke turns to me and explains. "Most soldiers have high respect for the doctors that heal them, but when I was here, I noticed that unless the doctor was Tsing herself, they clearly didn't like them. I can hardly blame the soldiers with what the doctors are doing here. Plus, they're rude to the soldiers who fight for them. There's none   
of the usual mutual respect." She shakes her head.

We walk in silence until I ask a question that has been haunting me. "What's with Maya? Why is she helping us? Isn't she one of them?"

"She is, but she likes Jasper. I think that's one of the reasons. Plus, she doesn't agree with what they're doing. I trust her."

I nod and choose to respect that she has faith in the girl. I will continue to be skeptical of her true intentions and loyalties, but I will not betray Clarke. Not again.

"Are they in here?" Clarke asks as we stand outside an unmarked door.

"Yes, but be careful. There are doctors and soldiers in there. They won't hesitate to kill you if they think you don't belong in there." Maya gives us what I assume is supposed to be an encouraging smile and goes in the direction we came from.

"She isn't going in there with us?"

Clarke shakes her head, but notices my doubt in Maya. "She hasn't gotten bone marrow yet. She's still vulnerable to radiation. If she goes in there, she will labeled a traitor. And she can't come with us."

"As long as she does not become a traitor to us as well," I murmur under my breath and stop Clarke from pushing open the door. "Do you have a plan?"

"No plan, we're winging it."

"They will kill us and we are not much use to your friends dead. How about this. You really are a doctor." 

"Sort of, yeah. So?"

"Go in there and act like one. Scope out the place and come back to me and we will plan our next move accordingly. Okay?"

"Okay." She takes a deep breath and gives me a sidelong glance before pushing open the doors.

The door swings shut and I cannot make out what is being said in there. I can hear muddled voices and I can tell one of them is Clarke's. I would know that voice anywhere, even as muffled as it is.

Once it has been long enough for me to consider saying "to hell with this plan" and going in to make sure she is okay, the door opens a crack and I see Clarke's familiar hand.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" A voice calls from within the room.


	11. Chapter 11

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" A man's voice drifts through the door and I tense and put my hand to my thigh, where I have concealed my dagger. "We were having so much fun, weren't we?"

Is he flirting with her? He is flirting with her. And it is the one time I do not have anything sharp enough to behead him with without him screaming so loud he will alert the guards.

"Yes, well my girlfriend is waiting for me outside." Wait. Girlfriend? "And it's hard to work with all of these soldiers sneering at me behind my back."

"Ah. Well, the guards can leave." A pause and soldiers file out. "And your 'girlfriend' can come in here."

The door opens further and Clarke is standing there, looking sheepish. "Do you mind? I don't think he'll stop hitting on me otherwise," she whispers with pleading eyes.

I can deny her nothing. Especially if she is being flirted with by a creepy sounding older man. I take a deep breath and nod, steeling myself for the flood of emotions bound to come. Clarke visibly relaxes, and I know the only reason she has not punched him is because that would blow our cover.

She opens the door wider and I walk through. The man who I have fantasized about killing for the past few minutes is finally not faceless. He looks old; way too old to flirt with a young woman. His head is bald and shinier than my sword. He is wearing a white jacket that goes down to his knees and has a thing Clarke once told me is called "glasses" resting on his nose.

Clarke lets the door fall shut behind her and walks forward and breaks our stare down with a swift kiss on my cheek. I relax at her touch and give her a smile that in turn makes her smile. Do I have the effect on her that she has on me?

The man clears his throat and I take the opportunity to look around. To the right there is another door, except this one has a lock. The room is empty except for the three of us, and I am guessing there is a maximum of one other person in the locked room besides those that are in crates like beasts. Clarke walks past the man and to distract him, I resume our staring contest. She turns and hits him in the back of the neck with the side of her hand. His eyes roll into the back of his head and he crumples to the ground like a child's toy. She looks at me and shrugs.

"I don't have anything to kill him with."

"Would you like me to?" I ask. I am asking permission... I have not had to do that for years.

She thinks a moment, "If you’d like to. We'll have to drag him into the locked room either way."

"How about we let him live but gag him and leave him in a cage. See how he likes it."

Clarke's eyes twinkle as she smiles and nods. "First things first. We need to get the door open."

I bend down and quickly search the man, still out cold. I feel a rush of pride. Clarke did that to a disturbing old man who was hitting on her.  
There are no keys on him. I shake my head at her. She tries the locked door and it opens. I pick up the man, making sure to be as rough as possible, and follow her in. Her friends are gagged in cages and sleeping. I guess the Mountain Men learned not to let them speak. It is what helped them almost escape last time. Before I betrayed Clarke and caused everything to go to hell. 

Keys sit on the only table in the room, as close to the door and as far away from the cages as possible. Clarke grabs the keys.

There is one cage unlocked and I shove the man in. Clarke unlocks the first cage and grabs the cloth from the person's mouth.

She lightly taps the boy's head. "Monty. Monty, wake up."

He stirs. No one would dare defy Clarke, even if they are unconscious.

"Clarke," Monty says sleepily. "I knew you'd come."


	12. Chapter 12

"Clarke. I knew you'd come."

"Of course I did. Now get up and out of that cage." Clarke smiles. Her eyes sparkle as she helps him out. Does she like him? Why am I so jealous? She tosses me the keys.

I snatch them midair and begin unlocking all the cages except the Mountain Man's, of course. A girl I recognize as Reyna? Raine? Raven. The smart girl that fixes things. She is worse for wear, but with a stony look of determination, she stumbles into the arms of an older man with blonde hair.

"Kyle," she rasps.

He hushes her and pulls her tighter against his chest, lightly kissing her forehead. He seems to be relieved that she is all right, aside from the bruises and cuts that litter her visible skin. "You're safe, you're safe." He repeats it as if if he says it enough times it will become true. It succeeds in calming her down and she relaxes in his arms.

I glance at Clarke, who is tending to her people and looks like someone just gave her the greatest gift ever. The tension of sneaking around with her leaves me as I watch her converse with her people. She is good to them, kind. A better woman than I could ever be.

"How long have you loved her?" Someone murmurs in my ear.

I tense and turn to see the one she called Monty looking at me with gentle eyes. I try to make myself seem taller and more threatening, but the effect is not the same as it would be if I were wearing my war paint. I miss it, it makes me feel stronger. It is a mask for my pain and emotions, and without it, I feel as vulnerable as a newborn child.

"I do not know what you are talking about." I say, but both of us know that is not true.

"Whatever you say." He claps me on the back and whispers, "Good luck." And then he moves on to embrace an awkward, scrawny kid.

I run a hand through my hair and make my way over to Clarke once I have somewhat calmed myself down. "Sorry to break up the reunion, but someone could notice at any moment that they have escaped. We should move."

Clarke considers my words for a moment before nodding.

"Why is the Commander here?" Raven croaks, interrupting whatever Clarke might have been about to say and glares at me. "I don't trust Grounders."

"And I have given you no reason to. I made a mistake the last time I came here, and it could have cost your lives. It certainly made me lose what little trust we had from the Sky People. I have come here to help, and I will do so with our without your trust."

Clarke gives me a smile that melts my heart. "Lexa can be trusted. She came here for no reason other than to get you all back safely." I came here for you. "Now come on, we're still in the enemies' compound. Any ideas on how to get out?"


	13. Chapter 13

"Any ideas on how to get out?"

"Killing them is out of the question." The scrawny kid sounds at first like he is in charge, but then acts as though he remembers who he is talking to. Clarke, the unofficial but acknowledged and highly respected leader of the Sky People.

"If we need to we'll kill soldiers, but there are children in here and innocents. We will not harm them." Clarke responds and her people nod. Though some seem hesitant to let any of the Mountain Men live. I am afraid that their grief may consume some of them. They have lost close friends. I will keep an eye on them, make sure they do not crack like that Finn boy Clarke loved. I hope its past tense.

I begin to brainstorm aloud. "There is the ladder we got in on, but I am not sure all of you are strong enough to climb it. They have shut down the elevators to preserve power. If we can get to the Reaper tunnel, we might be able to sneak out."

"Opening the doors to the tunnel will let radiation in. It'll kill them." Another boy says. Bellamy, I think. He looks like a couple of guards roughed him up. He is the boy Clarke has so much faith in and worries about. From their interactions, I can tell there is only friendship between them.

"I am sure your thinkers will find a way to get through without killing the Mountain Men.”

"Thinkers?" A voice from the crowd of Sky People sounds out and the rest of them look just as confused at my wording.

"The engineers," I point to where Kyle and Raven are standing hand in hand.

Raven makes a face, "We're both not engineers. But I'm sure we'll find a way Maybe if we..." She turns to Kyle and it is as if they speak another language. The other Sky People seem just as lost I am with this conversation.

"If we run into an army of guards at least we have those two to bore them to death." I say when Clarke comes and stands next to me. She laughs quietly and it is a truly beautiful sound.

Clarke clears her throat and the lovebirds stop bickering in their engineer language. "If we want to get out, we should get moving. The soldiers could at any moment realize that Lexa and I are here and that you all are out."

As if on cue, an alarm blares.


	14. Chapter 14

"All soldiers to the armory. The enemy is attempting to breach the entrance. Repeat, the enemy is attempting to breach the entrance. All soldiers to the armory." A mono tone voice echoes. Clarke taught me what a radio is; perhaps this is a different form of one.

"That's our cue to move. It's a distraction so we can figure out how to get out. Now, let's move. I know where the Reaper tunnel is, just not how to get in there." Clarke's voice is commanding. When she speaks, her people become silent and listen respectfully, nodding along with her words.

"Bellamy," I call out and everyone turns to me, surprised as if they had forgotten I am here. "Bring up the back and make sure no Mountain Men sneak up on us. I will be up by Clarke keeping a lookout."

Clarke levels me with a glowering stare that would reduce anyone but I to a whimpering child in fear. "And I can't keep lookout by myself."

Her people flinch and give me frowns that almost seem pitying. I ignore them and the menace in her words and eyes. "You can, but you will be distracted by getting us to the Reaper tunnel. Distraction could get you killed, and you, Clarke of the Sky People, are not expendable."

We stare at each other intensely as her people shift uncomfortably, glancing at the clock worriedly until she relents. This is not something I would ever back down on. She is by no means expendable. She is essential to this alliance and to her people. I have already lost Costia, the only one person I have ever cared for until Clarke. I could not bear to lose the one I love again. Even I am not that strong.

"Fine, you will walk with me." She nods to me and her eyes soften for a second as if she is about to smile, but then regains her composure and signals for her people to follow us.  
Bellamy surprisingly does not object to my order and hangs behind as we file out of the room with Clarke and me at the lead. Though I believe he was glancing between Clarke and I with concern in his eyes.

Clarke takes us through a series of twists and turns. There are, surprisingly, no rude interruptions by armed guards. Though I have a good memory, I eventually am as lost as her people look.

"There it is," Clarke says a while later. "Any ideas on how to not kill everybody, Raven and Kyle?"


	15. Chapter 15

"Any ideas on how to not kill everybody, Raven and Kyle?" Clarke asks as she stops us in front of a large metal door.

The two turn to each other and talk Engineer again, arguing heatedly about something about pressure but luckily they keep their wits enough to stay quiet to not alert any stray guards.

I turn to Clarke, "What are they discussing?"

Her face scrunched adorably as she focuses on Raven and Kyle's argument. I almost sigh at my thoughts. I am in the enemy's compound with another leader to help rescue her people and I am thinking about her and how adorable she is. If Octavia knew my thoughts, she would never let me live them down. She still constantly teases me about my weakness for Clarke. It has been less teasing lately and more mocking. Hopefully she will not hate me for much longer. Luckily she does not tease when Clarke is around; it could shake up our people's already shaky alliance.

"They're talking about sealing that doorway behind us so none of the radiation gets in. Other than that, I'm not sure." Clarke frowns as she admits not knowing, clearly annoyed at her inability to speak Engineer.

"You understand more of that than I do, Clarke of the Sky People. To me, it is as if they are speaking a language I do not know." I say to make her feel better. It works and she gives me a smile that makes me look away so she does not see how my cheeks flush. I choose to look at Raven and Kyle and cock my head slightly as I study how close they are to each other. "Is this how they flirt?"

Clarke laughs and I would very much like to make her do so again. "I didn't think you even know the word 'flirt'." She is still smiling at me and I try to ignore how my throat dries and my heart flutters in my chest.

"I did not until recently," I admit. "Octavia taught me what it means."

Clarke shakes her head, "I'm not surprised."

"I figured it would distract her from worrying about her brother." I recall how broken yet determined she seemed as she trained with or without Indra. Clarke stares at me intently with a look I cannot begin to decipher. "What is it?" I ask, fighting not to shift under her watchful gaze.

"It's just... under all the war paint and tough exterior; you're really thoughtful and kind. I don't know why you don't show this part of you more often."

"My people view kindness as weakness." I watch as she nods, her eyes unfocused as if deep in thought.

"Like love?" She asks.

I freeze and force myself to reply. "Some view love as weakness."

I have not since I saw how strong her love makes her.

"Clarke!" A voice calls and we turn away from each other to face them.

I relax, glad for the interruption. I do not want to discuss love with anyone, especially not with Clarke. She said she is not ready and if I begin a conversation with her on the   
subject, she may see my weakness. That may make her feel uncomfortable or obligated to try to force herself to reciprocate my feelings. I am patient and can wait as long as she needs, and if she is never ready for me, I will find some way to get through that.

"We figured it out. I won't go into detail but we'll seal that doorway and then set it on automatic so it will unseal when it's safe." Raven speaks excitedly, but is considerate enough for those of us not as smart in technology to speak slowly and dumb down her words.

"How long will it take you?" Clarke asks.

"A few minutes to set it up. Just be ready. Do we have any weapons to fight the Reapers?" Raven moves to stand next to Kyle and they press buttons on a screen.

"We have Octavia waiting on the other side," I say and Clarke turns to me and raises an eyebrow. "It was the only way I could convince her not to come in here and kill every soldier in sight to get Bellamy and the others out."

"Thanks for that," Bellamy visibly relaxes.

I am about to respond when the metal door behind us slides shut with a clang. Air hisses and Raven and Kyle continue to calmly press buttons so I am guessing this is going as they planned. The other door swings open to reveal a darkened tunnel with Octavia standing there in full armor. I recognize it as one of Indra's old sets. She grins at Bellamy as he rushes forward and envelopes her in a tight hug. They clank as he shifts and her armor moves with them.

We stand back and let them have their moment until an alarm sounds again. They must know that we are escaping. "Sorry to interrupt, but we need to go."

The two nod and pull apart. Octavia goes into what she has called warrior mode and slides out a sword.

"Let's go." She says and Bellamy looks surprised at her change in attitude.

We all begin to move and Clarke taps my arm. I turn and she tells me she will bring up the back.

I nod, "I will stay in the middle."

We all move quietly and see no living Reapers. The Mountain Men must have made them fight my people. Or Octavia got to them.  
Octavia seems to have memorized every twist and turn of this labyrinth.

Sunlight hurts my eyes after so long underground but the others cheer. Some of my people walk out of the trees to help escort the rescued.   
I turn to count and make sure we did not lose anyone in that maze. I freeze and my blood turns to ice. We have been here for a few minutes, she should be here.

"Where is Clarke?" I turn to Octavia, who looks concerned but shrugs. "The Reapers... The Mountain Men have her!" I snarl and Octavia has to physically restrain me so I do not go in there. I spin around and she backs away and I know that murderous rage is once again in my eyes. "I will get her back."


	16. Chapter 16

"I will get her back."

"Not right now." Octavia shakes her head and gazes at me with sympathy in her eyes. "We need to get them back to the Ark and I'm sure Abby will want to talk to you..."

Raven walks up with Monty trailing behind her. She has a ghost of a smile on her face that quickly vanishes when she sees my expression.

"What's the matter?" Raven questions.

"The Mountain Men took Clarke." I growl out and glare accusingly at the mountain as if it has done something wrong just by housing the enemy.

Monty frowns, "No offense, Commander, but why do you care? I know she's a fellow leader, but..." He trails off and smiles knowingly at me. "I knew there was a reason she seemed so calm. I knew there was something going on with you two."

"So what's the problem?" Raven cuts off Monty's observations.

"I am going to go after her. Octavia wants me to risk Clarke's life even more by stopping at the Ark before I leave."

Octavia frowns at me as if to say that's not what I meant and Monty interrupts before we can begin arguing.

"I don't see why she shouldn't just go now. She's the Commander; she can take care of herself. She's a Grounder, so she's probably a good tracker. So--"

"I am going, Octavia, and I am going alone. Clarke's mother does not like me and our people do not trust each other after my decision."

"I know you're not asking for permission, Commander, but please consider taking another warrior."

I know she means well, but I am worrying and overthinking this already. It hurts to know I did not protect her, though I know she does not need my protection. Clarke is out there, captive and possibly being tortured... This keeps happening to those I lo- those I am weak for.

I put on my emotional mask so they will not see my weakness and how I am hurting by just knowing that Clarke could be. "I am going alone."

Octavia nods reluctantly. "If you're not back in two days, we'll send more after her."

"Very well." I turn to Raven and Monty, "I am glad you are safe."

I do not wait for their response, but hear their surprised "thank you"s as I walk away. I walk towards the Reaper cave we just got out of and try to look for clues as to where she was taken.


	17. Chapter 17

I may have forgotten a few key things for an adventure. Luckily, Octavia finds me a few minutes after I leave and hands me my weapons, war paint, and armor.

"Thank you." I am surprised that she is being so kind. It may just be because I am attempting to rescue her friend and leader. She has not liked me much since I came back.

"No problem. Do you need assistance finding her?"

"No."

"I don't want to tell Abby that her kid has been kidnapped." Octavia's words make me feel sorry for whoever has to tell Clarke's mother. No matter how much I do not like or trust the woman, she is going to be heartbroken. And then she will send a team out to slaughter all the soldiers holding Clarke.

"You may come with me if you would like." I am surprised I relent to someone other than Clarke. She has truly softened me. 

I hope I get to her in time.

I take off the civilian clothes and put on the armor quickly, not caring Octavia's there. She is with Lincoln, and I do not think she would ever consider even looking at another. I smudge on my war paint, feeling my confidence return to me. I attach the weapons and note Octavia brought me an extra one. That can be Clarke's as rescue her. We might need to bash a few heads. And I might anyways if they harm her in any way.

"Thanks, Commander." Octavia breathes a sigh of relief, but still looks worried. I know it is not just about Clarke.

"Bellamy and the others will be fine." I scan the floor for footprints other than our own and the rescued.

"How did you-- Never mind."

I stop and she almost knocks me over. I am too focused on the footprints on the ground to care at the moment.

"Scrape marks." A scene plays in my head as I study the ground. "They took her by surprise, got her from behind. Gagged her... and dragged her into here where they picked her up and carried her away."

"Clarke's strong. Why didn't she fight back?" Octavia questions, frowning and studying the tracks as if they can give her answers.

"Perhaps they used a chemical to knock her out," I suggest. The notion makes me want to run into the mountain and demand that they release Clarke or I will enjoy making their heads roll. They would look nice on spikes as a warning to those who would even consider harming her or those she cares for.

"Maybe. Can you follow them?"

"Of course." I try not to be offended at her doubt in my abilities.

We walk in silence for a while until there is a light at the end of the tunnel. To my surprise, it leads not into their mountain, but outside.


	18. Chapter 18

I blink against the intensity of the light after being in the dark cave system for so long.

"They aren't taking her to their base," Octavia observes. "Why take her here? Where is here?"

"We are behind their mountain. None of my people will settle here, it is too close to the enemy. This is a secluded area."

"What do they want with Clarke?" She murmurs most likely to herself with worry evident in her voice.

"They want information. Information on us, on our alliance. The best person to ask is a leader. Leaders know some things that ordinary citizens do not. They might know that we are... Close. They want me more than her; I have been a menace longer than her and the Sky People. They will..." I trail off and fight off the burst of fury that climbs up my throat. While anger can be a good ally in combat, the burning hatred I feel will make me clumsy with rage. "Torture her."

"We'd better get there fast." Octavia moves to start walking, but I stay in place. "Shouldn't we head there?"

"We have some time to find her. As much as I would like to grab her and get out as soon as possible, we need to find them first and observe their movements. I would prefer not to have another massacre on my hands. She will be fine for another day or two."

"How do you know?" She asks skeptically.

"They know she is your leader and that we will come after her. They will be lying low."

Octavia frowns and stares out into the forest. I focus on the footprints and determine that we are not far behind them, perhaps just an hour or two.

"Commander?" I raise my head at the sound of her voice. "Didn't you say that there's no one here?"

"Yes. It is too close to live safely."

"Then what's that? It looks like a Grounder town."

I squint in the direction she is pointing. "That is not ours. They are smart; they know any one of us that goes through here does not want to, so we would ignore the fact that no one settles here. We will observe them until the time is right for the rescue."

We walk towards their town and I take a deep breath to calm my emotions and nerves.

We are going to rescue Clarke.


	19. Chapter 19

We walk towards the fake Trigedakru town. It does not take long to figure out that it is where they took her. Their footprints lead straight there, along a hidden yet well-worn path. They did not even bother to try to hide their tracks. They are cocky; they think we will send a small team. They think we would not send the best, because the Mountain Men could attack at any time. The best would be of more use at our camps.

If they knew that I am coming with Octavia, two of the best fighters, they would hide their tracks better. They know of my abilities, and possibly know that Octavia was trained by Indra. But they have not seen her fight, not to my knowledge. If they have and knew we are coming together to rescue Clarke, they would run back to their mountain home like the sniveling cowards they are.

They are arrogant and dumber than the big rock they call home if they chose that place to build on purpose. There are hills surrounding it with hiding places perfect to hide an ambush. Any who saw this place with the smallest hint of skepticism would know this is definitely not one of our encampments. Not only for its closeness to the enemy, but for the layout and sloppy, thrown together homes. I almost want to go down there and tell them how foolish they are being before I cut their throats, but this is not a small camp. From what I have seen, there are roughly a hundred and twelve of them. Not too many to take down if we free Clarke, but too many to kill without alerting and pissing off their command center. 

They keep her in chains, a pair of what they call handcuffs on her wrists and another attached to her ankles.

They walk her around camp twice daily and feed her slop that not even a starving pig would eat. She does not complain, just sits up straight and acts like though she is among her enemies, she is in charge. It succeeds in making them uncomfortable. I have found that men of the mountain do not like their “inherent authority over women” questioned.

They leave bruises on her with their beatings, the first stage of interrogation. The next will be much less civilized. She wears her wounds with pride. I can tell they hate her and her strength.

They keep her in the smallest house, guarded by four men at the entrance. They really are fools if they think that will stop us from getting her out. I recognize the structure; it is a simple one they made to perfection. We stopped building that style years ago because there is a flaw, one Octavia and I can use to our advantage. In the back, there is a flap that can be easily pushed aside enough for a person to easily slip through. We stopped building them in case our enemies ever noticed the flaw, but since they put her in there, it is obvious they do not know.

We plan to sneak in tonight when the night is at its darkest. Hopefully, there will be no resistance. Realistically, there will be.

Tonight, we will save Clarke.


	20. Chapter 20

Our "plan" does not go as intended. They suddenly have more patrols and search the nearby areas for us. We decide to continue to watch for another day or two. By we, I mean Octavia. I was and am tempted to just burst into their camp and massacre the bastards, but I know me getting riddled with bullets does not help Clarke.

So we watch. I insist on going in on the second day's night. Octavia reluctantly agrees. I want to get her out there as soon as possible. The first day her bruises become more prominent, easier to see, even from a distance as great as ours. I keep my head. I was not chosen to become Commander because I cannot put my emotions to good use. I use the adrenaline from my loathing to focus.

Their pattern never changes besides the doubling of their patrols. They take her out twice a day for walks and twice for meals. She eats every last revolting drop of the slop they feed her. She does not protest, and seems determined. They take her back and I can hear their fists as they hit her. I have not yet heard even a whimper of pain. She is strong. She never gives us up, never divulges any secrets, she does not tell them anything. She does not speak while they hurt her, not even to ask them to stop.

She acts as though the bruises that paint her skin do not hurt. But I know it does. Her jaw is clenched, always clenched. They see it as defiance; I see it as refusing to show weakness. Every new bruise that shows up is like a dagger to my chest. She is there because of me. I did not protect her as well as I could of.

Clarke can take care of herself, of course. She is tougher than I aim to be. I fear that I am a bad influence. Her love is her strength, what drives her. My love... I hope it is not the weakness my people think it is.

On the last day before our rescue, the pattern changes again. Clarke suddenly stops eating halfway through her meal and stares at the soldier sitting across from her. She and I have both noticed that he is clearly the leader here.

"They're coming for me, you know." She says calmly as though she is talking about the weather.

"Who? Who's coming?" She is quiet for a moment with a small smile playing on her lips. "Damn it, little girl! Tell me!"

I know from experience the hard look in her eyes. The soldier stiffens and looks as though he is trying not squirm in his seat.

"I am no little girl. While my mother is the Chancellor, I am the leader of the people of the Ark. They will not rest until they find me. My people, the Grounders... Lexa. She is probably the most determined of them all to get me back. And the most pissed off by my kidnapping. You have pissed of the Commander. She's probably here right now,   
listening. How long do you think you have to live?" She leans back in her chair with a smug look on her face.

The soldier barks out orders to search everywhere nearby. It makes me glad that Octavia and I built something to cover us in case of surprise patrols.

He grabs Clarke roughly and I cannot help fantasizing about killing him in many painful, slow ways. He pulls her back into that same house. I can hear muffled yelling as the sun slowly hides behind the enemy's mountain.

A single gunshot goes off in the hut and my blood turns to ice. I hear no cry of pain, no sign that she is alive. My breath is coming in quiet pants and I am certain my eyes betray my feelings. No other soldiers rush in there to see if their commanding officer is okay. They assume as I do; that she is dead.


	21. Chapter 21

The officer walks out of the house with a self-satisfied smirk. Red is splattered across his face. I do not need my years as a warrior to tell that it is blood. Her blood. And he wears it with pride, like a true savage.

Adrenaline pulses through my veins and my arm muscles flex. I want to snap his neck so much I nearly get up to do just that and get us discovered. But I know there is a chance, however slim, that she is alive. If so, we will need to get to her as soon as we can. If only Octavia or I were trained as healers as Clarke was. I fear I may not be of much use. If she is alive. That words strikes fear like I have never known in my heart. If. She is most likely already dead. She was shot. If only that damn officer would not wear her blood as a trophy, as proof that I cannot deny. She could be bleeding out as I think.

I grab Octavia's arm. We have a stare down, arguing mentally when to go to her. She knows I am right and nods. We slip out of our hiding place which I have grown to despise. I do not like the hiding plan, it makes me feel weak.

We move slowly around the camp, crouching low and moving silently. I can tell Indra has taught her well. If there were any hint of doubt about her teaching ability, it is now erased.

It is my fault. The thought rings in my head and it will not stop tearing up my buried emotions. I lo--I am weak for Clarke. And it is my fault. She was taken on my watch. I have known where she is for days and have done nothing but watch. Watch as new bruises appear. Watch as her strength wavers. Watch as she begins to doubt. Doubt that I will come for her, that I will rescue her. That anyone will. She may have fooled the soldiers, but I know her. She is afraid for her life. As I am sure she will fear for mine when we rescue her. 

She will be alive. She has to be. I cannot lose someone I lo--care for again. Once is bad enough.

We slow to a stop on the surrounding hill behind her house. They are overconfident, they have no fence. Just a few patrolling guards as defense. They believe that this close to their command center, they are unbeatable.

"If they discover us, make sure they have no way to communicate," I murmur to Octavia. I do not need a verbal response to know that she will do it. My eyes are trained on the tiny house. She is in there.

I am coming, Clarke. Please, be alive.

I walk ahead of Octavia and duck into the house through the 'secret entrance' through the back. The soldiers stand outside, the rusting door barely attached yet it is closed.

The cheering of soldiers fills my ears with sounds of happiness. They are celebrating.

It takes my eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness. But what I see is unmistakable.

Clarke is crumpled on the ground like a toy tossed away. She is lying in a slowly growing pool of her own blood.


	22. Chapter 22

I am frozen as I stare at Clarke. She is wearing the same plain clothes that we used to get into the mountain.

Her chest scarcely moves as she takes a ragged breath and I feel unshed tears glisten in my eyes. She is alive. They did not kill her. She is not dead.

Her head is turned to the side and it looks as though she is unconscious. The pool of blood is slowly growing and turning her hair a rusty red. I am no healer, but I believe she was shot in the shoulder. The pain of that combined with all of the bruises she has from those bastards is enough to cause the toughest warrior to faint.

I may not be a healer, but I have been treated for so many wounds that I should at least know the basics. I grab a stray rag and press it against her wound. She flinches, even though she is unconscious. 

She did not leave me to that beast to die. I will not stand idly by as she dies.

Octavia sneaks in behind me. "She's alive," she whispers in relief.

"Barely," I murmur.

While her blood has stained the ground, her heart is as stubborn as she is and refuses to stop or even falter. She truly is stronger than I am. Though I will admit that to no one but her.

"We should probably wake her up. If she stays unconscious in this state she might not wake up."

"Do you know medicine?" I ask, though I am not completely sure why I care. Clarke is possibly bleeding out and I am asking her friend questions? It is most likely because she is Clarke's friend that I take any interest whatsoever in her personal life. Or anything about her.

"Not much. Lincoln taught me a little in case I ever need to patch myself up. Clarke? Clarke, wake up. We need to move you."

I reach down and lift up her head so she is no longer resting in her blood. She squirms and moves so she is closer to me. She must think I am someone else.

"Clarke," I say gently. Her head twitches slightly in my arms. "Clarke."

Her eyes open slowly and Octavia lets out an annoyed huff. "They'll be back soon, Commander. We need to get her out of here."

"Lexa?" Her voice is almost soundless and raw. She shifts and groans quietly. "Damn, did I really get shot?"

"Yes, you did, Princess. Now can we move?" Octavia's eyes are focused on the door as though she is expecting them to burst through at any second.

Clarke sits up and tries to stand. Her legs are shaky and she has lost a lot of blood. I sling her arm over my shoulder. She does not look happy that she needs help, yet she shoots me a grateful look.

"If you love birds could not give each other heart eyes, that'd be great," Octavia says as she slips out.

I help Clarke through the hole, making sure her arm is not jostled. She stands up and I follow soon after. They will find out she is gone soon.  
Her forehead is matted with sweat and blood and she is weaving back and forth on her feet. I do not think we will be able to get far.

I hear an alarmed cry right behind us and know they found out too quickly. Clarke, despite her "I'm fine, Lexa"s will not be able to move fast enough to get out of sight before the alarm rings out.

We will have to fight.


	23. Chapter 23

We will have to fight.  
I make us stop, knowing the extra exertion of getting away only to run back and fight will not help Clarke's condition.  
"We have to go back," I murmur, knowing both of them can hear me.

"Why? Do you think there are others trapped there?" Clarke questions. She is slightly slurring her words. I hope it is from exhaustion.

"No. We will not be able to outrun them. If we fight them, which I believe is inevitable; we must take down their communications so they cannot call for help and backup."

Octavia groans. "I hate it when you make sense."

"When do I not?"

"Well--"

"Hey," Clarke's arm tightens around my shoulders. "Shut up, let's go back."

I nod and I hear Octavia snort, though she is polite enough to attempt to cover it up with a cough, yet fails miserably. On any other day, I would be more than happy to get into a heated argument with her, but Clarke is hurt. And she may have to fight alongside us.

"Will you be alright to fight? I wish I do not have to ask, but we may need you." I say quietly to Clarke.

"I may be injured, but I can still kick ass. How many of them are there again? I never counted," Clarke admits, sounding a little sheepish.

"A hundred and twelve," I respond grimly. This is a fifty person task, not a three person with one of them injured task. This may be damn near impossible.

I feel a familiar thrumming in my veins I recognize as adrenaline. I have not felt this strong in a long time, if ever. The last time I was anywhere near this angry, this full of adrenaline, I was trying to get to Costia. But it was not like this. I am on a new level of pissed off at those soldiers.

We head back to see a soldier that is staring right at us (me) with a terrified expression I know well. He fumbles for a second before pulling out a small metal thing. He puts it into his mouth and blows. A loud, piercing sound goes out and I know it is to alert his comrades.

"That's a whistle," Clarke whispers to me.

I acknowledge her response with a tight lipped grin that probably scared the poor soldier even more. I hand Clarke my extra weapon. "Can you stand on your own?"

"Yup," she lets go and wobbles on her feet. "I'm too damn stubborn to go out without a fight, Lexa. Let's do this."

I rush the soldier and slice his neck before he can fully pull out his weapon. Blood spurts and he crumples to the ground.

I move forward and bark, "Octavia, communications."

She does not question me and rushes off into the camp. I shoot once last glance over my shoulder to see Clarke making her way towards me. I wait for her, and I always will.

We walk into the battlefield together.


	24. Chapter 24

We walk into the battlefield together. Octavia is slashing her swords with deadly precision. Indra did well.

Clarke's hand touches mine briefly before I launch myself into the mess. I know that touch was not an accident. It was a plea for me to live, to survive another day. And I hope I will, if only to see her face one last time before she asks me to leave her life forever. It is a distinct possibility. It is my fault she is here, it is my fault she is injured. 

Being a soldier and a Commander, I have been in and seen many battles. Yet the adrenaline, the urge to fight, never fails me. This time the urge to protect is stronger than usual. I will protect her, even if it kills me. I will die happily knowing she would be safe.

Clarke is not reckless, much to my relief. She stays back, killing the few soldiers that are foolish enough to approach her. Bodies litter the ground, but Octavia is still fighting, not taking down their communications. There are too many of them trying to attack her.

"Go! I will hold them off!" I yell, slashing my way closer to her and her many attackers. Some stand back, waiting for an opportunity to open up or for her to kill another so they can get in a swipe or a gunshot.

"Commander--"

"Go!"

I stab one through the back that is trying after her as she sprints away. He grunts and falls. I go through familiar and practiced motions, cutting through my enemies before they can get to me. This is a dance I learned when I was only a child. But there are more people to fight off with less people on my side.

A sword bounces off my armor after a hard swing I could not block. It stings and I know from personal experience that it will bruise.

"Lexa!" Clarke cries, “Are you alright?"

"I am fine, focus!" I yell back. I do not want to distract her. Distractions have caused many deaths of soldiers.

Blood flies around me, staining the ground where it falls. I know I am bathed in it, literally and figuratively. My actions and decisions have been at fault for too many of my people's deaths.

The sound of grunts and metal clashing fills the air, attempting to drown out the cries and screams of the wounded.

A man runs out of the tent Octavia went into, swearing. "They knocked out our fucking communications! The girl made them think we killed them! There's no backup coming."

Octavia is kind enough to let him finish his rant before she rams her sword through him. Blood bubbles from his lips and he falls as soon as she pulls out.

My mind is on three things at once. Octavia succeeded Clarke, and fighting. I am distracted. A sword goes through my stomach and I lurch backwards, eyes wide.  
I have survived many wounds; my body is covered with scars. I have walked and fought through injuries that should have knocked me out or killed me. I guess I am more like Clarke than I think. Too stubborn to die.

I taste rust in my mouth and cough, red staining the stone cold face of the man that has stabbed me. He pulls his sword out with a triumphant grin and I fall to my knees.


	25. Chapter 25

He slides his sword from my stomach and I fall to my knees with a grunt.

"Lexa!" I know that voice anywhere. That is Clarke's concerned voice yelling to me. She must have watched me get stabbed.

He looks down at me and seems to enjoy that. The mighty Commander, down on her knees with her blood staining both his sword and face. He looks too damn smug so as I struggle to get up I make sure to spit directly into his eye.

He stumbles back and claps a hand-sadly not the one holding the sword- to his eye. He howls and gives me what I assume is supposed to be a death glare but he just looks like a kicked pup. I stand on wobbly feet and notice Clarke fighting her way through what must be thirty soldiers to get to me. I smile, noting that we have taken out so many without losing anyone.

He wipes my bloody spit from off his face with a disgusted expression. He must not be used to women fighting back. I know an abuser when I see one. I dropped one of my swords and do not want to go through the extra pain of picking it up. So I raise my sword and put my other hand to my wound, pressing to stop the blood flow.

He grins, amused as I get into a fighting stance. He will not find this funny for long. Our swords clash together, the echo ringing out in the clearing. It is the only sound left. We must have killed most if not all of the rest. The asshole seems to realize that too and does not look scared, but pissed. All of the stretching it is taking to defend myself as well as attack back is definitely not good for my wound. I notice that my sight is getting faintly blurry and know that is not a good sign. I need to wrap this up.

With the last of my adrenaline, I make my next few attacks rougher and stronger. I can feel the vibrations all through my body as our swords block and attack again and again. It is a familiar dance but I would like it to end. I would at least like to tell Clarke of my weakness for her before my soul goes and finds the next Commander.

The last attack is so strong, so desperate on my part that it knocks his sword from his hand. We are both panting and have hatred in our eyes. He does not move to pick up his weapon. He knows that even if he kills me he has lost. Octavia or Clarke will take him down. I decide that as much as I would like to give him a slow and painful death, I need medical attention. So I stab him through the heart. He slumps and I drop my sword, falling back along as his body goes the other way.

Clarke rushes over to me, ignoring the crunching of dead soldiers underneath her feet in her hurry to get to me. I see one flinch and smile grimly. Smart. Play dead in a pile of your comrades and wait for the enemy to leave.

"Lift up your armor," Clarke commands.

"If you wanted to see me naked you could have just asked." I give a small laugh to let her know I am kidding and flinch in pain. Damn that hurts. My sense of humor likes to pop up at the worst times.

A shadowy figure appears in the trees and I give Clarke eye signals to let her know that there is someone there. She turns and we both hold our breath.

"Lincoln?" Octavia practically squeals. I shake my head and try to get my ears to stop ringing. He is the only person she would ever go that high pitched for.

She practically tackles him and he seems just as happy to see her.

"And she complained about us." I try to lighten Clarke's mood. She is a little happier now that Octavia has him here, but is more focused on the blood streaming out of my side.

Each breath brings a fresh stab of pain to my side and I cannot help but to hope Clarke does not feel the same way. If or when I die from this it will hurt worse if she is as weak for me as I am for her.


	26. Chapter 26

Clarke breathes a sigh of relief, "You're okay. You're going to be okay."

Octavia untangles herself from Lincoln's embrace and walks over with him walking a step behind her like a shadow.

"Commander? Lincoln and I will patrol, make sure there are no reinforcements. We'll leave you two to have your moment," Octavia winks.

"If one comes from here, let him go." I order.

I have just been stabbed and am feeling a bit lightheaded from blood loss and happiness. I am not in the mood to be questioned and Octavia seems to know this and respects it. She will make a good soldier, and a good friend to Clarke. She walks away, mouthing something to Clarke that makes her blush.

"Are you all right?" I ask. I want to get to the soldier before he slips away but Clarke is more important.

"It hurts like hell, but I'll live." I study her and she gives me a warm smile. My heart betrays me and thumps faster in my chest. "I'll be okay, Lexa, I promise."

I feel my face soften as a light rain begins to wash away my face paint. I do not mind being vulnerable around her. I look into her eyes and do not see hatred. I almost do not want to darken her light with my burdens. But I am weak for her. I need her like I need the air I breathe. I will not tell her this until or if she is ever ready to hear it.

I get up, ignoring how my blood is mixing with the rain and trickling down my side. I walk over to the hiding soldier, trying my best not to stumble or show my pain.

I lean down so we are face to face, my eyes staring into his. He is terrified. He is also young; he looks younger than the age I thought they started recruiting.

"I have a message for your superiors. This is what happens when you take one of us. No more kidnapping anyone or we will fight back. And I will kill you like I killed these soldiers. We will not fight you unless you give us a reason to. Got it?" He nods frantically. "Good. Now go."

He trips over his fallen comrades in his haste to run away. Once he is out of sight, I allow myself to relax and go back to where Clarke is sitting.

"You didn't kill him."

"No. He is young and will not want to be a soldier after this. He is not a threat and will give them my message. Hopefully they will not bother us again, though I know that is unrealistic."

"Your people start training at a young age."

"And I wish it is not necessary." I sigh, biting my lip to stop a pained noise from escaping as I sit down. "Children deserve to be carefree and we burden ours with war." Clarke scoots closer and wraps an arm around me. I believe this is supposed to be comforting, but it feels like more. I do not want her doing something she will regret. "Clarke--"

She cuts me off with the press of her lips on mine.


	27. Chapter 27

I sink into the kiss, resisting the urge to pinch myself. This is real. Clarke is kissing me. After all I have done to hurt her, she is kissing me.

I pull away. She is probably rejoicing in the fact that we are alive. I do not see any other reason she would kiss me like that. Unless... No. I cannot get my hopes up.

"Clarke." I murmur. She looks into my eyes but I do not miss how she glances down at my lips. "I do not want you to do anything you will regret."

"How could I regret this?" She presses her lips to mine again and it takes all of my willpower to stop the kiss. Our lips are still inches apart as we gaze at each other.

"Clarke." I can hear how broken I sound. "This will not be easy."

"I know."

"Your mother hates me."

"She hates that you betrayed her trust. She'll get over it. I like you, Lexa. I want to make this work."

"I am weak for you," my voice comes so quiet it is almost a whisper. "I am no good with explaining my feelings, Clarke, but for you, I will try." I pause to take a calming breath before I continue. "I have many enemies, many who would love to see me dead or hurt. My greatest fear is that they will take advantage of my affection for you and harm you to hurt me. Like these soldiers did."

She smiles at me, "I'm okay, Lexa. I'll get better at fighting so they won't be able to take me, and if they do, I know that you'll be hot on their trail."

"How would me making their trail hot have anything to do with this?"

Clarke chuckles, leaning back so we can talk better, making the distraction of kissing a little less tempting. "I meant you'll track them and find me, like you did here." I must still have a worried expression because she reaches up and cups my face gently. "You can teach me to fight. It can be an excuse to see you as well as a way to improve our people's relationship."

I can feel hear flush my cheeks. Only Clarke has ever made me blush. "Your people and mine will not like that we are together."

"They'll just have to deal with that because I'm not giving you up because they don't approve," Clarke declares.

I smile. I have not since she was kidnapped. "This will not be easy," I repeat, shaking my head as I imagine our people's reaction.

I hope they are tolerant of not only us being together, but the fact that we're both leaders and also both girls. I know my people do not mind because they did not with Costia. But if her people pick on her or make ignorant remarks... I will not be hesitant to give them bruises and scars.

Clarke's hands are still cupping my face. She takes advantage of the fact and brings my face closer and kisses me. I smile into the kiss. She is mine. And I am hers. "It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it."


	28. Chapter 28

Octavia and Lincoln do not come back for a while. Clarke and I stay mainly in the same position, both of us sitting with her arm around me. We do not move unless it for Clarke to check our wounds.

When they walk out of the forest, their faces are flushed and they adjust their clothing.

Clarke chuckles beside me, "I don't think they did much patrolling."

I frown, studying them. "What do you mean?"

Their cheeks are red. Perhaps they were running? Only physical activity would have that effect... ah. I am not good at comprehending Octavia and Clarke's talk of physical relationships. I have never had one before. Yes, there was Costia, but we were young. We never got past kissing.

Clarke just shakes her head at me, looking amused.

Octavia quickly recovers and smirks at the sight of her arm around me. "Aw. Are you two finally a couple?"

I scowl at the "I-told-you-so" look on her face. "And what were you doing in the woods? I did not hear you patrolling."

Octavia and Lincoln cannot seem to look me in the eye. They both mumble excuses too garbled to understand. Clarke laughs at their flustered expressions and holds up her hand to me. I just look at her, confused.

"It's called a high-five. It's like clapping, just with two people." She grabs my hand and presses it to hers. "You do it quicker than that to make a noise."

"Is this another odd Sky People tradition?" I ask.

Clarke cocks her head at me. "Sort of. Never mind. I'll teach you later."

Octavia seems to have recovered from her embarrassment again and laughs quietly. "As much as I would love to sit around and watch the Commander making eyes at Clarke, we should get moving."

I ignore her quip and stand up. I hold out my hand and help Clarke up. She and I begin moving. As she passes Octavia, she murmurs tauntingly. "My girlfriend's more chivalrous than your boyfriend."

I force my steps not to falter. Girlfriend? Clarke reaches out as if sensing my shock at her wording. She holds my hand gently and Octavia makes an "Aw" noise in the background. Clarke turns and sticks out her tongue. It is comforting to see her in a good mood. Lincoln murmurs to Octavia, probably to tell her not to tease us.

Clarke squeezes my hand, "Sorry about that. It just slipped out. I'm not pressuring you or anything..."

"I would not mind being your girlfriend," I admit. 

I turn to see her reaction. She is smiling and looks so beautiful as the sunlight hits her I almost forget to breathe. It is my belief that the gods enjoy seeing me almost trip over a root because I am staring at my gorgeous... girlfriend. I return the smile. She is enough to make me forget that we are both soaked in blood and injured.

"Let's go home," Clarke says.

I nod, not trusting my voice. Clarke is finally mine. And I am finally hers.


	29. Chapter 29

Clarke's hand tenses around mine when her home comes into view.

"We can hide our relationship, if you wish." I murmur and trail my fingers across her hand in what I hope is a comforting motion.

"No, I won't hide who I am. They'll get over it. Eventually."

I squeeze her hand. I still find it hard to believe that this is real and not just another dream. The guard shouts to someone behind him and the gate opens as we walk in.

We must be a sight to see. Lincoln is the only one not covered in blood. The rain did not manage to clean it all off. I grunt as I feel my wound open again from the stress of walking so far. I give Clarke and apologetic look and put the pressure of the hand that was lucky enough to hold hers against my side. I am bleeding again.

"Damn," Clarke says when she sees why I let go. "Let's get you to my mother."

Her mother rushes out, relief flashing across her face as she notices her daughter before turning to distaste as she sees me. I cannot say I blame her for not liking me.

"Clarke--"

 

She cuts her mother off, "Don't interrogate us until we're both okay."

Clarke's mother takes in the sight of me clutching my side and Clarke gently cradling her arm. She nods and turns, snapping orders at an assistant that scurries off to do her bidding.

Clarke places her good hand at the small of my back, coaxing me forward as her mother walks through the labyrinth that is their home. I feel my heart rate increase at her touch, but I am too out of it to lean into her.

Blood trickles through my fingers and plops on the floor. The world blurs and I blink rapidly, trying to clear my vision as Clarke's mother slows down. She holds open the door for us, but has an expression that tells me she would rather hit me in the face with it. I am suddenly exhausted and stumble the last few steps as Clarke and her mother help me onto a medical bed.

Everything is out of focus again, and I am barely conscious enough to hear what they are saying.

"Shit. She's lost a lot of blood. We'll need..."

I lose focus again.

"Will she make it? Will she be okay?" I recognize Clarke's worried voice through my haze.

I am unable to stay awake long enough to hear the answer.


	30. Chapter 30

I open my eyes to see a blurry person sitting beside me, their head resting on their arms, snoring softly. I blink against the harshness of the light and my vision clears enough to see that the person is Clarke.

My body feels heavy, but I use whatever I got from resting to brush her hair out of her eyes. She twitches in her sleep and I let my hand drop into my chest. I smile at her before looking around.

We are in their medical center and we are the only ones around.

Clarke murmurs something but I cannot hear what it is. She squirms and murmurs, "Lexa."

I hold my breath. She is dreaming of me. She is silent for another moment before she resumes her quiet snoring. She slumps further and lets out a loud snore that I am sure they heard in Tondc.

Clarke jolts awake with a sleepy "huh?"

I laugh as she sits up straighter and wipes the drool from her lips. I watch, amused as she stares at me. 

"You're awake?" Clarke relaxes and gives me a smile that nearly stops my heart. "How are you feeling?"

"I am fine," I rasp, my voice rough as though I have not used it in days. "How long was I asleep?"

She glances at a device around her wrist, "36 hours and 44 minutes. You really had me worried."

I reach out and hold her hand, "I am sorry I worried you. I did not think I was hurt so badly. How is your injury? Did your mother patch it up?"

"Yes she did, though I had to refuse treatment because she wanted to help me before you."

Octavia bursts through the door, "Is she awake?"

Clarke nods and gestures to me, "She's right here."

"Thank you for your concern, Octavia."

She blushes, "I wasn't concerned!" Clarke raises an eyebrow at her. "Shut up, Princess; don't act all high and mighty. You were practically hysterical when she fainted."

"I wasn't hysterical! And don't call me Princess!" Clarke protests.

"You were practically screaming at your mom to help her. Princess."

Clarke groans and looks at me. I look back, a smile on my face as she drops her head onto her arms. "Go have not-so-secret sex with Lincoln in the woods, Octavia."

She flushes, her mouth slightly agape in shock at Clarke's words. She sputters for a moment before muttering "whatever" and walking back out.

Clarke sits back up, her hand still in mine. "My mom doesn't like that we're dating."

I ignore the fact that my heart skipped a beat when she said "dating".

"We can do whatever you wish, Sky Princess, whether it is ignoring her disapproval or to downplay our relationship around her. It is your choice."

She leans closer so our lips are inches apart. It is taking enormous amounts of self-control that I never knew I have to not close the small gap between us.

"Ignore her," she breathes. I fight the urge to tremble at her words. She is my weakness. She kisses me and it is slow, yet I can feel the fire of passion behind it.

"What the hell?" I pull back reluctantly to see Clarke's mother standing in the doorway.


	31. Chapter 31

"I could tell that you two improved your relationship, but this..." Clarke's mother sighs, running a hand through her hair. "Clarke..."

"Mom." She pauses, looking her mother in the eyes. "She will not betray us again."

I grimace at her choice of words, but I cannot help silently agreeing. I did betray them. And I will spend the rest of my days trying to live with that and trying to make it right.

"And how do you know that?"

"Lexa didn't like doing it the first time."

Clarke's mother scoffs quietly. I take a moment, realizing how much being around Clarke has changed me. Before I met her, I would have decapitated anyone who dared treat me disrespectfully. My people may view it as me going soft, but I believe I am becoming more compassionate, less cold. She has made me a better person.

"Lexa saved my life. She helped us get our people back. She didn't have to, but she did anyways."

"I swear on my life, Chancellor, that I will take care of your daughter." I promise I will. I will defend her to my last breath.

"That went so well last time," Clarke's mother snorts.

"Mom!" She is staring at her, outrage and sadness glittering in her eyes.

I sit up, ignoring the stabbing pain in my side. I place a hand on Clarke's shoulder, "its okay." I murmur to her before addressing her mother. "It was my fault she was taken."

"Lexa--" Clarke sounds as though she disagrees.

I cut her off, "I should have stayed by her. Maybe if I had, she would not have been harmed." I take a deep breath and look into her mother's eyes, "I apologize. But your daughter is stubborn and kind. She specifically wanted to find a way out that would not kill anyone. Would you have done the same, Chancellor?" She breaks eye contact with me and stares at the whitewashed floor. "I will not tell her how to live her life or try to control her. I understand why you try, but she is no longer a child and you should not treat her as such. She stopped being a kid the second you sent her down here."

"It was for the best, I had to..." Clarke's mother looks flustered and pained. She walks out without so much as a goodbye.

"I can defend myself, you know." Clarke says, but I know from the warmth in her voice that she is not mad.

"Just because you can does not mean you should."

Clarke chuckles and rests her forehead against mine, "When did you get so philosophical?"

"I do not know what that is," I admit. I try not to focus on our closeness, but my eyes betray me as they flicker down briefly to her lips.

She does not lean forward, though from the smile that lights up her face, I can tell that she noticed. She looks into my eyes and seems nervous.

"Um... Lexa?" She shifts, our noses brushing against each other. I pray to the gods that she does not keep up this torture for long. It is taking all of my self-control not to launch myself forward.

"Yes?" I curse myself mentally; my voice sounds raspy.

"Will you uh... will you go on a date with me?" I stare at her silently, shocked. "Don't feel you have to, I'm just asking," Clarke rambles, blushing. "If this is too fast just let me know because I--"

I cut her off once again with my lips pressing against hers. Her eyes flicker shut a moment before mine do as well. I break the kiss before it can get too much farther, but she still makes a small noise in protest when I pull away.

I smile lovingly at her, "Of course I'll go on a date with you."


	32. Chapter 32

After I agreed to a date, we were both so happy that we kissed without fear of getting caught. We only took a break when we heard Octavia's startled gasp. I pulled away to see both Clarke and her best friend had scarlet cheeks. Octavia cleared her throat and walked back out.

I rested my forehead against Clarke's and grinned like a fool. She pecked my lips again and held out her hand. I took it and she helped me down.

She led me to her room and kissed me gently one more time before saying, "I'll be back. Wait for me?"

I felt cheesy, but I still said what my heart told me, "Always."

It has been hours since then. I still have that smile on my face, but for once I refuse to hide my emotions. I occupy myself by reading some old yellow books she has on a shelf. There's one that looks untouched that I have never heard of. Something about many of shades of a color... I thought it would be an academic book I flip through it and flush, tossing it on the shelf. Why would anyone like such a book?

I am still blushing when Clarke returns. She pulls me up, taking great care not to cause me pain, and presses her lips against mine.

"What's wrong?" She asks when she pulls back to see my face.

"There was a book I thought was about colors and it was..." I shudder, unable to finish the thought.

Clarke studies me for a moment as though searching her memory for the book I speak of before bursting out laughing. "You picked up..." She giggles, not finishing her sentence.

"Who would read that horrid thing?"

"It was popular many years ago. I caught my mother reading it once and confiscated it. I was too disgusted to let her continue to read it once I realized what it was about."  
Clarke shakes her head lightly and stands up. She truly is a gentlewoman; she helps me up once again. She leads me out the door.

"Where are we going?" I take her hand.

"To our date."

I am suddenly nervous. I have never been on a date before. I have messed up so many things in my life and our relationship is one I would prefer not to. Clarke, being the observant woman she is, notices my nerves.

"Don't worry," she kisses my cheek.

We are outside and her people notice her affectionate gesture and stare at us. I ignore their skeptical gazes and calm down at her words.

She takes me out of their encampment into a hidden cave in the woods. I recognize it from my soldiers’ stories of it.

"You know this place?" She questions.

"It is a place where my warriors take their partners to have... privacy."

Clarke nods, amused at my discomfort at the fact. Not that I would not like to touch Clarke, I just do not want to move too fast and scare her away. Plus, I have never done anything like that before.

She leads me in and I stifle a gasp. There are candles everywhere and a clear space in the middle where there is food.

"Caught it myself," Clarke says proudly.

"This is extraordinary. Who knew that Clarke Griffin is a romantic?" I tease, pressing my lips to her cheek like she did to me moments before.

"I just read too much, Commander." She pauses and her eyes brighten. She goes over to the cleared space and picks up a tiny device. "Look what I found! It's an iPod or something. It plays music!" She presses a button and slow music streams out of it. Clarke holds out her hand once again. "Dance with me."

I shuffle my feet, feeling awkward and embarrassed. "I do not know how to dance. We usually just drink to celebrate our victories."

"That's okay. I don't really know how to dance, either. We can fail miserably together."

I take her hand and she pulls me in close. I recall something I read in one of her books earlier, "I read something about dancing."

"Really? Teach me."

It sounds oddly sensual and I swallow nervously before moving our limbs around until we are in the "waltzing" position. Her head rests on my shoulder and she sighs contently.

We sway and I cannot help the words that escape my lips. "I love you, Clarke."

She takes her head off of my shoulder and looks me in the eyes. I mentally prepare myself for rejection.

To my surprise, she says "I love you too, Lexa."


End file.
